I’m a sinner but I want to be a good friend

Hello, friends, internet surfers, the confused, and hey mom-

This week’s blog is gonna be pretty cut and dry.

The subject of friendship has been on my mind…. a whole lot lately. And I mean like… What does the bible say about friendship? What even is true friendship? What does it look like to be a good friend? Am I a good friend to those around me? How can I be a better friend? How should I treat those who are already my friend?

(Don’t get me wrong, I know we should love everyone… right? That is what the bible says.. isn’t it? That’s what my mom said to be all through my childhood!!)

Well… It has been brought to my attention that true friendship is not always obvious! I mean like… people who you thought were your friends may turn out to be disloyal, and those that you thought didn’t really care much for may turn out to be someone that will eventually mean the world to you.

So what did I find?

The bible gives a few warning about friends. such as:

The poor plead for mercy; the rich answer with insults There are “friends” who destroy each other,  but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 18:23-24

So just because you have many friends, does not mean that they are all faithful and truthful.

Suppose someone secretly entices you—even your brother, your son or daughter, your beloved wife, or your closest friend—and says, ‘Let us go worship other gods’—gods that neither you nor your ancestors have known.  They might suggest that you worship the gods of peoples who live nearby or who come from the ends of the earth.

Deuteronomy 13:6-7

Meaning a friend who is as close to your own soul has the power to entice you to sin.

So you’re like, oh my lanta, Madi… WHAT ‘S THE GOOD NEWS??

A true friendship is a very rare thing, but when it is proven, it is something to treasure and keep safe by all means…

Now you’re like… REALLY I HAD NO IDEA?!

Calm the sass… here it is…

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.  Proverbs 17:16-18

So here’s the deal. I am about to be very honest with you, and through that, I hope you can be honest with yourself.

I am not a good friend. I am a sinner. I need Jesus and I make a bunch of mistakes.

In high school, I had the opportunity to be friends with a group of girls who I thought would one day be in my wedding. Well, I got caught up in the dramas of high school. I was mean to them, they were mean to me. I cried a lot, they cried. We said a lot of hurtful things back and forth and now I am no longer friends with them. BUT PRAISE JESUS I LEARNED HOW TO BE A BETTER FRIEND BECAUSE OF THAT. Now, I have a friend who fits the description of how a Godly friendship should look. I wish I could have found this kind of accountability and love in high school but unfortunately, I think I had to grow first. As many do.

So you’re like Madi who is this friend and what is she like?

Well, She loves at all times. She has proven, again and again, that there is nothing I can say or do that will diminish her love for me. When I make mistakes, I can confess to her and be assured not only of her constant affection but also of her honesty. Though she never condemns me, she will tell me the truth about my actions and encourage me to do what is right. Because of her good judgment and her tender heart, I trust her completely. She is a treasure — a true friend.

AKA She keeps me accountable for my sins and she loves me and glorifies the Lord through our friendship.

Hey, Madi… I have this friendship but we have struggled along the way… so…

Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy. Proverbs 27:5-7

It is common for a true friendship to be marked by wounds. As we do life together, situations arise where true friendship must express itself by one friend wounding another, or being willing to sustain wounds. We may also have to hurt a friend (or allow ourselves to be hurt) in order to do what is most loving and right for the other person.

Wait Madi… That is such a thin line between a true friendship and someone who selfishly listens…

Recently, a friend of mine called me out about sin. It hurt my pride and made me feel terrible. But she was right. And it made me recognize and appreciate my friend’s love for me. Because sometimes the hardest thing to do is stand back and let someone you care about be hurt by your words or actions. But in those circumstances where painful words or actions are necessary for your friend’s good, true friendship means being willing to wound and be wounded.

BUT IF YOU SAY THINGS TO A FRIEND WITH SELFISH INTENTIONS, YOU ARE NOT GLORIFYING THE LORD.

We are all sinners. Therefore, no friendship will ever be perfect. If you find yourself constantly questioning the intentions of a friend. OR you think a friendship has become toxic. It is okay to take a step back and find accountability elsewhere. I encourage you to pray for your friendships and those you care about constantly.

Lastly,

True friendship means laying down your very life, if necessary, for the good of a friend. This is the way God loves us. He gives us what is good for us, not what we want. Happily, there are times when the two coincide!

But when they do not coincide, and when our foolish hearts long for what will ultimately make us miserable, God is willing to break our hearts to keep us from that ultimate misery. And remember: the heart of God is tender. When our hearts are broken, He feels it too. But He is willing to endure with us.

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. John 15:12-14

I hope you feel encouraged: to seek out friends that are uplifting, loving, god-fearing accountability.

My mom always said that I should have friends who care more about their relationship with Christ than trying to appeal to what is going on around them.

Meaning find friends who challenge and love you like Christ would.

Y’all are rockstars. Go give your friends a squeeze and tell them their treasures.

I hope you can stand next to your friends, like I stand at an Aggie football game…

forever.

(sorry for the lame joke….well actually not really..)

If you need prayer please feel free to email me. Love y’all

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